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Friday, May 28, 2010


I wasn't grouchy when I woke up this morning. Even though Dash promised he'd let me sleep in the night before. Of course he reneged in true six year-old fashion the next morning. The Lego Indiana Jones PS2 game was harder today and could I please help him figure out how to swing across the snake pit? Daddy got up with him (nice Daddy) and I lay there awhile realizng the double bed T and I have shared for 14+ years has got to go. I don't ever stretch out in my sleep anymore. Our sleep ritual is a lot less like brain/body rejuvination and a lot more like a synchronized swimming routine. Is it any wonder I'm cranky? I feel like Esther Williams without the rubber daisy swim cap. T dislocated his shoulder in a high school soccer accident and I have a very deep and personal aversion to sleeping face to face so we have settled into a spoon routine. When one is ready to change positions they bump the other and that's our nocturnal cue to roll over. I'm amazed that either one of us is half as pleasant to be around as we are given the crappy sleep we both get.

Or maybe it has nothing to do with sleep at all. Maybe it has more to do with the fact that strong coffee and a persistent kid repeating, "Mommy, mommy, mommy!" every thirty seconds is a recipe for a pissy mood. If the irritating kid is the recipe for a crap mood, then Kava must be the antidote. T took one look at the veins bulging in my forehead and put the kettle on. "Will Kava make him stop annoying me?" I demanded. "No, but it will make it so you really don't care that he's annoying." Good enough. The kids are still whining away in the other room trying to work out the elusive intricacies of Lego Indiana Jones, but T was right. I can't seem to muster up the irritation to care. I remember once reading an article by the wise Erma Bombeck in which she painted a charming picture of herself wearing a Valium necklace. In the midst of familial chaos she would sit, serenely licking away at her "candy necklace". I'm pretty sure I won't be able to find (or be able to pay for) such a precious piece of jewelry, but that's okay. I've got a steaming cup of Kava and for now that's close enough.

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